Topless and Disorganized [NSFW]

topless march leaders
Men marched topless, too

Ladies: It is perfectly legal to be topless in public in the State of Maine. Gentlemen: Women’s breasts aren’t anything to get excited about. Really.

That seemed to be the message organizers intended to convey when they marched topless through the streets of Portland last month. It’s difficult to tell, actually, since they didn’t publicize it or make a statement at the march.

In March I read a tweet from @portland_maine about a topless march planned for April 3rd. Interested, I read the scant press as well as several articles about the history of toplessness in Maine and the legal precedents. I was pleased to learn that women in Maine have as much right to be topless as men.

Topless tweet
Tweet from @portland_maine

Sexy Saturday stroll
Sexy Saturday stroll

A cursory online search yielded very little information about the march. I surmised, therefore, that the organizers’ intention was to increase public awareness and prompt public discourse regarding the unequal treatment of women. I thought it would be a great opportunity to teach my daughters about activism and gender issues. My oldest daughter, Skye, was interested enough to accompany me to the march.

Legalize free titties
Legalize free titties

Skye and I drove up to Portland, found a place to park on State Street and fed a couple of hours of quarters into the parking meter. When we got to Longfellow Square the crowd was quickly swelling. Television crews, gawkers, photographers, curious passers-by, and a couple dozen topless men and women were excitedly preparing for the event. I was surprised and disappointed that the organizers seemed perplexed that people were interested enough to show up. In fact, they were quite rude to those of us who happened to be both male and holding a camera. They accused us openly of being there simply to get a look at their breasts. It didn’t seem to have crossed their minds that some of us might be supporting what we thought they were trying to do.

Because permits were not secured, and the organizers neither intended nor wanted for people to be interested, the participants were required to walk on the sidewalk with the usual pedestrians. We walked down Congress Street to Monument Square, then turned toward Middle Street and ended at Tommy’s Park, where the crowd eventually dispersed.

Topless walk route
The topless march snaked from Longfellow Square to Tommy's Park
Fake boobs and real
Fake boobs and real

The police were out but not in large numbers. Nobody was arrested and there were no incidents. Many of the topless walkers were quite nice and offered a smile and wave at the many cameras and supporters. The organizers, on the other hand, were quite unpleasant and rude throughout, which was unfortunate.

The march should have been about gender equality and public awareness. Permits should have been secured. Press releases should have been…released. Banners should have been made. And speeches should have been delivered at the beginning and end of the march. The idea had a lot of potential. Unfortunately, the organizers of this event failed to achieve their goals and the goals they should have had.

Topless and costumed
Topless and costumed

Men and women evolved to be attracted to each other sexually. Women, understandably, are attracted to men whom they perceive willing and able to provide for them–and their offspring–a long-term security commitment. Men are attracted to women whom they perceive as both fertile and capable of rearing viable offspring. This means, generally, women who possess large tits and curvy hips, as these are the most prominent indicators. That’s not sexism, it’s biology. It’s neither right nor wrong. The organizers of this event failed to realize the futility of swimming against millions of years of evolutionary selective pressure.

Unfortunately some boys and men do treat women as objects of their own sexual desire. Not all of us are those boys and men, though. If you organize an event you should thank people who show up to support your cause.

Gorgeous smile
I love her radiant smile
A camera and a boob
I wasn't the only guy with a camera
Skye was bored by boobs
Skye doesn't understand why boobs are a big deal

Click on any picture to see it larger

Topfree Equal Rights Association

4 Comment

  1. […] marvelous @brentdanley gives his account of the infamous portland topless march. my personal favorite moment involves a photo of his 10 year old daughter and the caption […]

  2. I don’t understand the NSFW
    no such thing as chests NSFW on the old continent or at my job

    1. You’re fortunate that naked breasts aren’t frowned upon at your workplace. That, you must understand, is the exception. NSFW is a courtesy to people who either do not want to see the photos or whose employers would rather they not while at work. For these reasons I have also pixellated the photos on the post, unless the user clicks on them.

  3. […] I saw this article while researching the Internet. Jackalope, any pictures of you in there? Topless and Disorganized [NSFW] (Pictures NSFW) Women march topless in Portland without incident | The Portland Press Herald / […]

Leave a Reply